Worse Than A Hangover.

A 64-year-old man has told how he passed out after a heavy night drinking and woke up to find that his penis was missing.
Neighbours of Geraldo Ramos claim that he was attacked by a dog as he stumbled around the Dominican Republic naked while drunk.
But Mr Ramos, of Santiago, doesn't believe their version of events and is none-the-wiser as to how he came to be dismembered.
Mr Ramos now has to wear a catheter and was filmed recuperating at his home.
He says that he has learned his lesson - Mr Ramos said that he is to lay off the drink from now on.

Mother-In-Law Joke With A Difference.

The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.
"What happened?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip.

I get home... and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my Glenda, with a naked guy in our marital bed! This is unforgiveable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here, she would never do such a thing!

There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
"I told you there must be a simple explanation ....

she didn't receive your E-mail!"

Missing woman unwittingly joins search party looking for herself

A group of tourists spent hours Saturday night looking for a missing woman near Iceland's Eldgja canyon, only to find her among the search party.

The group was travelling through Iceland on a tour bus and stopped near the volcanic canyon in the southern highlands Saturday afternoon, reports the Icelandic news organization mbl.is.

One of the women on the bus left to change her clothes and freshen up. When she came back, her busmates didn't recognize her.

Soon, there was word of a missing passenger. The woman didn't recognize the description of herself, and joined in the search.

About 50 people searched the terrain by vehicles and on foot. The coast guard was even readying a helicopter to help.

But the search was called off at about 3 a.m., when it became clear the missing woman was, in fact, accounted for and searching for herself.

Dog ban issued after puppy gets drunk

A British court has barred a man from having a dog for three years after his Labrador puppy was discovered drunk.
Matthew Cox had been drinking vodka and coke with his roommate on August 22 when he left his glass on the floor to go for a smoke.
He returned to find that his six-month-old dog, Max, had swallowed the booze.
But he left the animal at home, and prosecutor Maria Moore told Nottingham Magistrate's Court in central England that the puppy was later spotted staggering and falling over near Cox's home.
Police were called and took the dog to an emergency vet, where it was put on a drip to flush the alcohol out of its system.
Magistrate J A Smith called the incident "downright stupid".
The puppy has since been given a new home.

This begs the question; How on earth does a puppy develop the taste for an alcoholic beverage?

Mind you, having asked that, I have noticed over the years, some of my mates have had dogs which have had a tendency to consume all manner of matter (organic or not), at quite an express speed.

Cashel Street, Christchurch: Before and After the February 22nd Earthquake

Both photos are views looking down Cashel Street towards the Bridge of Rememberance War Memorial. The only difference being, that the top one was before that fateful day in February.
I have fond memories of visiting some great shops in this street and hanging out with my Christchurch mates.

Highlander's Super Rugby Franchise Jersey - Green?

I am opposed to the idea of the Highlanders jersey being overhauled to a predominantly green colour scheme.

The colours in the top have traditionally been blue, gold(yellow) and maroon. This scheme represented the combined colours of North Otago, Otago and Southland.

Apparently, the Highlanders franchise has confirmed the new jersey, which is believed to be light green with a dark blue strip down the sides will be worn as a once-off this season on Friday night against the Western Force in Dunedin, ahead of a permanent move to the new strip next season. This fixture is also the last game of Super Rugby to be played at the 'Brook.

Long term, I reckon that the Highlanders franchise should adopt a tartan pattern based on the blue, yellow and maroon - which could potentially avoid a jersey clash with all the other teams in Super Rugby. Another option, could be a mainly maroon colour with a little bit of blue and gold.

Whatever happens, I sincerely hope they don't do away with the Highlanders logo, and that hopefully, they drop the green colour scheme next year.

Despite having been away from the South Island for almost two and a half years (barring two visits), I still strongly support the Highlanders - through thick and thin. I have a Highlanders flag donning my workstation, at my Waikato place of work.Could the new Highlanders jersey end up looking similar to this All Blacks training strip?

Junk Mail

Found it ironic, that the delivery person who dispatched some circulars in our letterbox, included a used Chupa Chup stick, sandwiched between 2 pages. This really enforces the concept of "junk mail".