Finger Puppet Instructions

Someone bought me finger puppets, as a joke for a Christmas 'Secret Santa'. The product was made in China. Here are the instructions as listed on the packaging:

• Put it into mouth will cause dangers of suffocation
• Play under protector's protection [this one's a classic]
• Do not use, damages, distortion product for your safety
• Please do not throw and cast it - in order to avoid injury and damage to the goods
• Do not give it to the children under 4 years
• Please do not put it near fire

Distortion product for your safety, is rather amusing.

Instructions prepared by those, who don't write in English as their first language, always make for hilarious reading.

I received someone elese's credit card in the post.

Recently, Kat's (my lovely wife's) wallet went missing.

As a consequence of this, I had to cancel my credit card and order a replacement card via my bank.

Today, my Australian owned bank sent me a replacement credit card via the mail.

The credit card was held with a special backing adhesive to a letter which contained my relevant details.

I looked at the signature on the card and noticed there was something a little odd ... the digitised signature wasn't mine, ... neither was the photograph. In fact, it was someone else's credit card!

My bank had sent me someone else's card instead of my own!

I dialled the free phone number and explained my predicament.

To cut a long story short, the bank had to cancel the card they sent me, as well as my new card ... which had probably been sent to someone else ... and start again!

Now I've got to wait a few more days for my card to ... ahem ... hopefully ... ahem ... turn up in the post.

Here's an anagram which may give you a clue as the the name of my bank (common short version name):

CAT PEWS

Needs A New Outfit!

Breakthrough: Getting Command and Conquer: Generals to work in Linux Mint

If you have Microsoft Vista, apply the steps in my last post, then apply a nocd patch (this also means you can keep your ROM stored away in a safe place).

If you have Windows XP or earlier on a separate partition, install the game there first as per normal (this is the easy way for games on more than one ROM disc), then apply the nocd patch. Many other games contained on a single ROM disc, can be installed directly into your Wine directory in your Linux OS easily enough.


On your Linux browser, go to the website for Wine HQ and follow the instructions for downloading the Wine git repository (Link: http://wiki.winehq.org/GitWine) via the terminal. In my case, this allowed me to upgrade Wine from 1.0.1 (stable version) to the latest version in development being 1.1.28, via my normal software repository. This version seems to have fixed many bugs, including the invisible mouse cursor, which I encountered in some games designed for Windows.

Mount the drive containing the Windows files and open the folder containing Program Files.

In the case of C&C Generals, look for the folder entitled EA Games.

You now have 2 choices here; either copy the entire contents of this folder from your Windows partition to your home folder in Linux (this also gets around the multi CD installation of this game ... and others like it). A simple Copy and Paste will achieve this.

Or, you can choose to run the game directly from the Windows partition, in your Linux environment. In this option you can open the file by right clicking and using "Open With Wine Program Loader".

I prefer the first option here, as it now means I have a copy of the relevant game in Linux, ... and I don't have to mount the Windows Partition each time I want to open the program.

Getting Command and Conquer Generals to Work in Vista (but what about Linux Wine?).

A lot of folk have posted concerns on internet forums, regarding the inability of getting C&C Generals to work in the Microsoft Windows Vista operating environment. Even the Vista compatibility site states that it doesn't work (see http://www.microsoft.com/windows/compatibility/Search.aspx?type=Software&s=command%20conquer&page=2).

However, there is a way forward and the steps are quite simple. The following is what I did:

1. Installed Vista Service Pack 1

2. Installed C&C Generals.

3. Right clicked on desktop icon, selected Properties, selected Compatibility tab, then from the drop down menu select Windows XP Service Pack 2, ticked the little box and then clicked on Apply.

4. The final step was then to download the manual patch version 1.07 for the game.

5. The Game is ready to play.

The patch updates the generals.exe , as well as the data file for this game. Failure to apply the patch will result in the game freezing on the second splash screen.

There is a version 1.08 patch that can be installed in-game. But I preferred a manual patch that can be stored on a ROM for any necessary future use.

Now, if anyone can tell me how I can get this 2 disc game to work in Wine for Linux Mint , I'll be extremely grateful.

A Letter From Scout Camp (Joke)

Dear Mom & Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dove into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.

Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it probably was just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters & buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.

Love, Jimmie

Only In America!

A woman was shot while sitting on a toilet in Florida.

A bullet from a gun that was accidentally dropped injured a woman sitting in a toilet cubicle, according to the local constabulary.

Police said the bullet hit the 53-year-old woman in the lower left leg. She was taken to a nearby hospital with minor injuries.

She was sitting on the toilet in a hotel bathroom when a woman in the next cubicle accidentally let her handgun slip out of her waist holster. The weapon discharged when it hit the ground.

Police said the gun belonged to a 56-year-old woman who has a concealed weapons permit.

The case has been referred to the State Attorney's Office to determine if any charges will be filed.

This is just unbelievably rotten luck. At least she only sustained a minor injury.
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I'll resume my flatting memoirs in a few days.